Strange But True

July 2008
Uncompetative Al Goes Coast to Coast by Mountain Bike
Pedals not Paddles....

Dave Friar asked me to join him and Chris and Kim Collison mountain biking on the C2C route. Dave has completed some awesome multi marathons including England's longest and hardest mountain marathons so I was a bit cautious. However the C2C, east coast, across the lake district and over to Newcastle and west coast is 140 miles which didn't sound too bad over 3 days, though Dave wanted to include all the off road mountain bike route options. A couple of days before we go I realise I'd misheard, it was coast to coast and BACK, using the Reivers route over the Scottish boarders, 310 miles in all.

Anyway we completed it last week-end though we missed out some east coast mileage but added in some extra in the Lakes. The C2C route is all tiny minor roads, wonderful scenery and virtually no traffic. We took some brilliant, fast flowing single track across Lakeland moors and exited the Lakes over long high speed road descent, then miles and miles of gently descending old rail track brings you into Gateshead. Cherry Friar and Sally Collison gave us wonderful support with food and tea every 20 miles. We even found time to stop for a beer a couple of times. The last bit through Newcastle is grim and goes on forever, though you have to take some shite in over 100 miles.

The return on the Reivers route was just as good with tiny roads in the middle of nowhere then remote pathways through Kielder Forest. Some friends joined us on this second day and happily outpaced us 'cos they are in their twenties and they'd not done 100 miles already (ground them down in the afternoon though). We completed over 100 miles again to camp just outside Carlisle.

The last day was through Carlisle and into the Lakes to cross high over Skidaw Fell and down via Keswick and Ullswater to finish at Penrith. All was going well until I screwed up riding down some concrete steps outside Carlisle. They were steeper than I'd judged, I pitched over they bars and bounced head first on the steps and landed wrecked at the bottom. When I opened my eyes I found Dave bending over me, I thought I must look bad because he wasn't taking the piss. Anyway I got to my feet and found nothing broken. Dave and Chris thought I was in no state to continue apparently because I spent half an hour just talking bollocks and repeating myself over and over again.

Cherry took over my bike and I took a couple of hours out on support with Sally. After that I'd recovered and was talking no more bollocks than usual so I took my bike back from Cherry to make the ride up on to Skidaw Fell. The single track down from Skidaw to Keswick has to be one of the best descents in Britain but by this time neither Dave or Chris had much skin left on the arse and I was having difficulty convincing myself that my neck wasn't broken so the joy of descent was a little tarnished.

We took a final couple of beers at a pub beside Ullswater. I have to admit I dropped out of the final ride over the hill to Penrith but Dave, Chris and Kim completed it in fine style. Cherry produced a bottle of Champagne for a glass all round. At 0400 am Monday morning we get into Dave's Volvo and he drives all the way back to Tring to get himself to work by 0830, then he spends all day up a ladder wielding a hedge cutter. The man is unstoppable.

There is a suspicion that Dave might ask me to do the Devises - Westminster race with him next year in a Canadian canoe (if he thinks I past the test last week-end). I'll have to get my excuses ready. But for sure there is no way I'll do it if there are any stepped weirs on the route.

Al (UnC) Farrence
July 2008